Finding Charley (Full Circle) Read online

  As we all hold each other in a tight embrace, Hayden decides to lighten the mood. “I don’t know about you guys, but I think we need another beer! Whew! That’s some emotional shit we just went through!” Tori looks at her like she’s not serious, and I giggle like a person in the psych ward. Everyone else follows behind me.

  After our giggle session ends, the girls ask if I’m up for a movie. I’m not really sure if I am, but what the heck.

  “As long as it’s Sweet Home Alabama.” With that statement, I know what I need to do. “Um, but can I call Cash first? It might be a while, but if y'all are still game afterwards, I’m in.”

  “You got it, Charley. We’ll leave and get comfortable. Just let us know when you’re ready, okay?” Caroline states.

  They leave the room. Georgia stands at the door, and I give her a nod to let her know it’s all right. I need a little space.

  I walk to the dresser and look into the mirror. I look like I’ve been an extra in a horror movie. I grab a makeup-removing wipe and clean myself up before I call my Cash Money. I walk to the mini fridge, grab a Choice Cherry Gold, take my phone and call the most important man that has ever been in my life next to my dad.

  I hit Send, and before it even finishes one ring, I hear the tenderest, yet roughest voice I’ve ever known.

  “Char-coal, are you okay?”

  “No, Cash, I’m not, but I’ll survive.”

  “Does that mean I need to get on the road?”

  I pause for a moment, close my eyes, and begin to speak.

  “No, Cash Money, as much as my heart is saying yes, I’m going to do this alone. I’ll be home in a few days anyways.”

  “Aight, Char-coal, but if you change your mind, you better call me.”

  “I will. I want you to know that the Kluft girls are here for me. They didn’t even go out tonight; instead, they helped me come out of the darkness. We’re actually going to watch a movie in a little bit.”

  He starts to snicker. “Let me guess. Sweet Home Alabama, right?”

  “You’re a freakin’ genius! You know that’s my favorite! Gotta love when the good ol’ country boy gets the girl instead of some Yankee.” At that moment, I realize what I have just said, and it sounds like my damn life.

  “Char-coal, I need you to do me a favor. I don’t want you to be alone. I don’t know what this shit is with Joe and Dylan, but I don’t want a chance for Joe to try something else. Promise me if you leave your dorm, you won’t be alone!”

  “I don’t think Georgia is going to let me out of her sight, but you have my word. I won’t. Cash, I hope I can do this. I mean, this alone thing.”

  “Char, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Most people would have lost it by now.”

  I interrupt him, “No, Cash, you’re wrong. I’m not strong. You are what keeps me together. I just put up a good front.”

  Cash and I finish our conversation, and I promise to call him if I change my mind. I know that I can’t. I have to prove to myself that I do not need a guy, even if he is the one constant in my life. Through thick and thin, Cash Money is my rock, and I know more than anything that the love I have for him runs deeper than any river. I feel his love moving within my veins.

  Chapter 2

  After finishing Sweet Home Alabama, I decide it’s time to hit the hay. I’m emotionally and physically worn out. I excuse myself from Tori’s room and make my way down the hall. I go into my room, grab my toothbrush, and move toward the bathroom when I see Georgia.

  “Hey, Char, you gonna be okay tonight, or do you want me to stay with ya?”

  Her words bring forth a monsoon of emotion that I have tried to bury over the past hour, but I put up the wall in front of her as well.

  “I’ll be aight. If I need ya, you’re just a few feet away.”

  She looks at me like I’m full of shit. “Okay, but I’m here if you change your mind.”

  At the same time, we turn on the water and brush our teeth in silence. When we finish, she gives me a hug and we go to our rooms.

  I walk into my quiet room, pull back the covers, and turn on the TV. I flip through the channels and don’t see much of anything. I decide on CMT and set my alarm for practice in the morning.

  I toss and turn. I look at the clock. One o’clock… two o’clock… I finally drift off to sleep. Sleep that soon awakens me to reality with thoughts of Dylan, Joe, Cash, Piper, and everyone that I love.

  My eyes snap open. I can hear my heart beating out of my chest, and I feel like I’m about to hyperventilate. Quickly, I sit up and tell myself that it’s just a nightmare. Dylan isn’t here. Joe isn’t going to bother me. Cash, Piper, and everyone else are fine.

  The deceit and sadness I felt earlier is replaced with anger, and I want to walk my ass over to Irvin to give Joe a piece of my mind. Don’t Charley. That’s a horrible idea, and Cash will kill you. No matter how much I try to shake this feeling, I can’t.

  Before I realize what I am doing, my feet hit the floor, and I slide on my Ariats. I grab my keys and hustle down the stairs before someone notices me. I open the door, and the cool winter air hits my face and brings me back to reality. What the hell am I doing? As I walk around outside the dorm, I see someone approaching me. Tears start to fall as I realize who it is. Joe.

  I turn as fast as I can, but I’m not quick enough. He catches my arm, and the smell of Jack Daniels is still on his breath. He doesn’t seem to be drunk anymore. He must have drunk himself back to sobriety. I keep my head down, because I don’t want to look into those make-you-wanna-melt eyes. If I do, I’m a goner.

  “Squirrel, please listen to me. It’s not what you think.”

  That one statement pulls me out of my thoughts, and I take a deep breath before letting harsh words escape my mouth.

  “What I think? What the hell, Joe? I trusted you, and guess what? You are no better than Dylan! In fact, you’re worse. You KNEW the entire time and didn’t bother telling me. What kind of person are you? Oh, wait. I don’t even think I can call you a human being because they have feelings, dammit!”

  Joe keeps his grip on my arm as his eyes meet mine. He looks as if he is trying to find the right words to say, and that is all I need. I pull my arm from his and begin to walk back to Kluft, giving him one final statement to think about.

  “When you grow a pair and decide to be the man that I thought you were, then we can talk. Until then, you can kiss my sweet Southern ass!” I grab the doorknob and stomp up the stairs. Lightening my feet just a tad so I do not wake everyone, I tiptoe down the hall and slide back into my bed.

  As I pull the covers over my head, my phone begins to beep. I check to see who it might be at this time of night, and my stomach begins to do somersaults.

  Dylan: Hope study day has been eventful. Just remember, I always have the upper hand.

  My breath quickens, tears begin to silently fall down my cool cheeks, and my hands begin to quiver. What do I say? Do I not say anything? It looks like it’s time to take my own advice and grow a pair.

  Trying to steady my trembling fingers, I hit Reply.

  Me: Eventful? Oh yeah, it’s been eventful all right. I hope u sleep well at night motherfucker because 1 of these days ur gonna get what’s coming to u!

  Dylan: Such a potty mouth, what happened to sweet little Charley?

  I can feel the heat begin to rise within my soul. I have got to end this madness somehow. I’m tired of being scared. Dylan is going down. You can count on that. I give him another quick reply because I don’t want him to have the last word.

  Me: U, asshole, that’s what happened, but know this. U DON’T OWN ME! Now leave me alone. I have practice n a few hours.

  I knew that last comment would leave him speechless. He thought he had taken away more than just my virginity. He tried to take away the one sport I love, but I have that back. Now it’s time to create a plan…one that includes the Grassy Pond Aquatic Center (GPAC.)

  There is no reply, just as I expected.
I close my eyes, roll over, and smile. 1 point = Charley, 0 points = Dylan.

  As I’m falling into a deep sleep, I hear the sound I hate the most. That damn alarm clock. Groggy, that is exactly what I am. I feel like I’m in a fog and can’t see with my eyes or head. I know I have to roll out of these warm covers and face the reality of last night. What the hell was I thinking going outside? What if I see Joe today? What if Dylan texts again? I shake my head and throw back the covers, just as there is a knock at the door. Georgia. I grab my bag, and we make our way to the pool.

  The pool. Water therapy is exactly what I need. I remove my Cash Money necklace and lock it inside my locker. I grab my cap and goggles and just about sprint to the pool. If I can’t be at the club or in a tree, then this is the next best thing.

  Coach’s eyes meet mine, and she begins to say something, but blows the whistle for warm-ups to begin instead. We stretch and then begin the 500-meter choice. I scoop my cap into the water before placing it on my head and then position my goggles and dive into the cool, refreshing water.

  As my body hits the water, it’s as if my mind begins to turn, and I begin to relive every event from last night. Before I know what’s going on, Coach is standing above my lane, splashing in the water and blowing her whistle.

  “Charley, damn, honey, are you all right? I mean, I don’t usually let words slip like that, but you’ve been on fire since you went into the water. I was afraid you were gonna have a heart attack out there.”

  As I get out of the pool to grab a drink of water, I reply, “I’ll be aight, Coach. It was just a rough night, and not like you’re thinkin’ either. Study Day turned into a nightmare that I’ve been trying to escape for over a year. No matter what, it keeps rearing its ugly head right in my face.”

  “Well, obviously you didn’t have a normal Study Day, or you would have puked by now. Seriously, if you need to talk, I’m here. I don’t judge either,” she responds as she wraps her arms around me.

  “Thanks, Coach.”

  We pull apart, and she calls the next set. This set is a killer, but I’m ready. It’s time to work out this rollercoaster of emotions in a place I know as home.

  After practice, we all shower in the locker room and make our way to the café for breakfast before exams begin. Now that I’m out of the water, my nerves are starting to get the best of me. It must be written all over my face, because as we get ready to enter the café doors, Georgia looks at me and smiles. I nod, put on my big girl panties, and hold my head high.

  We enter the café, and I scan the lacrosse table for Joe. I’m not sure how this will play out, especially after our late night meeting. I notice he’s not there, and I shrug it off. I guess he’s feeling the aftermath of all that Jack.

  I grab my plate and make my way through the line. I feel the need for bacon, and I mean a lot of it. As I’m fixin’ my plate, Tori pipes in.

  “Damn, Charley, did they kill one hog just for you?”

  “You know me. I lovvvvveee bacon. I swear I’d wear it as perfume if they had it!”

  “That’s gross! But then again, I bet it would call in the male species!” She laughs. “Speaking of which, look what the bacon dragged in.”

  Joe. That’s what the bacon dragged in. His eyes meet mine, and I quickly turn away. I make my way over to our table and pull out my chair. Before I can sit, Joe is standing in front of me.

  “We need to talk.”

  “No, we don’t. Now move, asshole!”

  Joe takes a step back as people begin to stare.

  “We will talk, Squirrel.” Tori begins to stand and has that ‘open a can of whoop ass’ look written all over her face. “You can slow your roll, Tori, because I’m not pushing her, but we will talk eventually.”

  He looks at me, turns, and walks away. As I watch him leave, I feel a piece of my heart break. Not because I’m in love with Jackalope Joe, but because I’ve lost a friend. One that not only knows my darkest secrets, but Dylan’s as well.

  Chapter 3

  After breakfast, I rush back to my room. It’s time for a last minute cram session before biology. I send Cash a text to let him know I survived the night and will call him right after the exam.

  Other than my blast with fresh air and Joe last night, I’ve not been alone. Needless to say, I have a gang of Kluft girls that go everywhere with me. If people didn’t know better, they would probably think we are up to no good.

  I enter the biology lecture hall with Dr. Deal right behind me. He takes the stack of exams and passes them out. I inhale a deep breath of fresh air, say a prayer, and let the knowledge I have flow from my fingertips. After finishing the exam, I take a brief moment to review my answers, because isn’t that what all good students do? I quietly turn in my paper and march out of the room.

  As I exit the building, I can’t help but frown when I look at the spot where Joe would wait for me. Today he’s not here, and if I had to do it all again, I don’t know if I would change it.

  As I walk back to my room alone, I call Cash.

  “Hey, Char-coal, how are you this morning?”

  “I’m hanging in there. I didn’t sleep much last night, but I kicked ass at practice this morning.”

  “That’s good and all, but what aren’t you tellin’ me? Remember, I can read your mind, or at least know when you aren’t tellin’ me everything. And, are you alone?”

  “Yes, but I just finished my exam. That’s why I called you on the way, so settle down. There’s something I need to tell you, but first let me get to my room. Who knows who’s listening around here?” I laugh, but it’s cut short by Cash.

  “What the hell, Char? This shit is serious! Do you know that I haven’t slept at all? I’ve been worried sick. You want to do this alone, and I’m letting you. It might kill me in the process, so don’t joke, okay? I love you too much to let something happen to you, and right now I’m worried to death.”

  “I’m sorry. I just have to laugh, because if I don’t, I’ll cry. I didn’t sleep much either. Hold on a sec. I’m almost to my room.”

  I rummage for my key out of my backpack and open the door. I throw my bag onto the bed and sit down.

  “Okay, so here’s what you need to know. I had a nightmare last night. I woke up upset, but then I was more pissed than scared. Before I knew what I was doing, I was outside alone. I kinda realized it was a bad idea when the cold air woke me up, but by then it was too late, because Joe was out there. He wanted to talk, but I pretty much told him to grow a pair first and then we’d talk. Later, as I was almost asleep, I got a text from Dylan.”

  “Char, I think I need to come down there. If anyone’s going to jail, it’s going to be me and not you.”

  “No, you’re not. See, I wanted to march my ass over to Irvin and punch the shit out of Joe, but then I realized what good would that do? He’s hiding something. As much as I don’t like it, I think Dylan is holding something against him, and I’m going to figure it out. And… I’m gonna put a stop to Dylan, but we’re gonna have to have a bullet-proof plan.”

  I take a breath, and Cash takes a minute to respond.

  “Char-coal, are you sure you want to go up against the devil?”

  “You bet your fine ass I do! I pulled a card on him last night in those texts. I told him I had practice this morning. He didn’t text anything back after that. He knows that I’m stronger than he gives me credit. I wanna take him down, Cash Money, but I need your help. Are you with me?”

  “If this is what you want, then damn right I’m with ya. Haven’t I always been?”

  “Thanks, Cash Money.” It’s moments like these that I wish I were safe in the arms of Cash Money in the club in Grassy Pond.

  “Char, have you talked to Piper? ‘Cause I think we might have a problem.”

  As soon as he says those words, I don’t need an explanation. Joe. That’s the problem. Piper is head over heels for Jackalope Joe, and how in the hell am I gonna tell her that he’s full of shit?

  “I�
�ll worry about that when I get home. I finish my exams tomorrow, but they are having a Christmas Party on our hall Friday night. I’m going to stay and try to have a good time. Then, I’ll be home Saturday morning.”

  “You want me to come and be your date?”

  I squish my lips together and move them from side to side as I contemplate my answer.

  “As much as I want to say yes, I’m gonna say no. Let me try this independent thing a little while longer.”

  “Aight, well, let me know if you change your mind.”

  “I will. I better get ready for my next exam. Love you, Cash Money.”

  “Love you, Char-coal.”

  I press End and sit on the edge of the bed. My next exam… freshman seminar. I drop my face into my hands as I rest my elbows on my knees. Oh shit. I totally forgot about the collaboration session for our exam. Fifteen minutes until I have to face Jackalope Joe and have an actual conversation in front of Dr. Cope. I. Sit. And. Pray.

  Chapter 4

  I wait until the last minute to walk across campus… alone. Stupid, yes, I know. Everything seems to stand still as I tread across the train tracks and glance at the front lawn where this nightmare all began. When I look at the front lawn, I can’t help but relive the first day on campus. Memories from the moment I saw those make-you-wanna-melt eyes to how I couldn’t wait to press my sweet lips to his come to mind. Little did I know those lips would be full of deceit and cause so much pain.